I’m beginning to realize that I’ve been really lucky throughout most of my life, which might explain why the last 12 months have been so difficult: payback is a bitch.
This month has been rough for reasons that I’m not particularly sure I can, or rather should, detail on this blog. Mostly it’s been the same old same old. It’s difficult being away from my family at this point in our lives. I’m still in year one of a new job at a school drastically different from any other at which I have worked or attended. And–spoiler alert–adapting to the realities of big city life takes time and patience.
But there was one event this month that was especially hurtful, disappointing, and unsurprising (at least for me, but I’m a pessimist). I actually had a long post planned on the philosophy of hate ready to publish, but thought better of it. Instead I’d like to try to accentuate the positive that came out of this.
- I no longer have to keep secret my relationship with my significant other; living a lie (by omission) for the past year and a half is not something I’ve enjoyed–despite its all-but-confirmed necessity.
- While I may not be loved or admired by everyone (who is?), I have an amazing team of supporters. This includes colleagues–both current and past–friends and family. Despite the pain of the last year, I still am in awe of the love and warm fuzzies that also have been present.
- I have many places that I can call home. Atlanta and my folks. Athens and UGA. My significant other and the Big Rock Candy Mountain. Chicago and my actual everyday life and career. While it’s hard having so many pieces of myself in so many places, I know there are people out there who have no home–emotionally or otherwise.
And one final bit of positivity–which shows how I really can turn a frown upside down (even in the course of one blog post):
- Payback is a bitch.
Soundtrack to March:
- The Boy With the Thorn in His Side, Jeff Buckley
- Daughter’s Lament, Carolina Chocolate Drops
- Sea of Love, Cat Power
- In the Pines, Fantastic Negrito
- Acid Tongue, Jenny Lewis
- Soothing, Laura Marling
- Lay the Pain on Me, the Milk
- Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell
- Sickbed of Cuchulainn, Pogues
- The Drugs Don’t Work, the Verve